Today i am finally writing a post i have written in my mind almost a thousand times, but just could’nt gather the courage. Hmmmm , courage to face the thoughts, thoughts that are painful…. And reason being, that they are associated to the parting , demise of a close one.
We met when we were studying in 11 th standard, i was new to the school, and she had joined an year earlier.For initial months we were just classmates, casual acquaintances and then during one of the school functions we somehow got to interact with each other, and needless to say, we clicked like anything. She understood what it was to be in a new environment, strange people around, not many friends to talk to. And there started a special bond of friendship. Sharing lunches eventually lead to sharing secrets, study related problems gave way to discussing personal problems and the bond grew stronger.
I knew about her heartbreak,I knew about her family problems and was surprise to know that i was the only one in a class of 55 to know that. She got to know certain things about me i myself was not aware of. Today when someone compliments me on any of my post, i think of the day she forcibly made me participate in a competition in school. I won that, and got a chance to write for the school magazine that year, and also discovered that i could write.
Like a sister , she used to defend me in front of teachers, other classmates, for that matter anyone. I adored her for that. SHe was this cute little tom boyish friend of mine whom i could trust blindly.
Time drifted fast, we completed our 12th boards , i got busy with entrance exams , so was she, or probably that’s what i thought. Than one day, the phone rang and all remember is “SHE IS DEAD”. She committed suicide, i dont know why, or probably i know. The worst part is i couldn’t reach out to her, i was not with her when she needed me the most.The always cheerful, never a fret person was now no more around me.
I wish cell phones, internet was that accessible than… I wish there was someone she could have come to and shared… I wish i could do something.
I wish you were here Darshita… miss u a lot…
On the last day of school, darsh gave me a poem that she wrote for her crush, but never had the courage to give it to him. She told me i was the only person after her, to read it:
Shishe ki tarah sambhale the jo rishte,
Woh tinke ki tarah bikhar gaye,
Logo ko hum bhil bhi jaye,
Is dil me basi yado ka kya karu…
Jindagi se jyada chaha tha jinko,
Apni saanso me jise mahsoos kiya tha,
Aaj woh hi hume bewafa kehte he,
Me badnasib apne mukkaddar ka kya karu…
Is dil me khamosh mohabbat ko jaga rkha he,
Man me pyar ki aag ko jaga rkha he,
Tumne jazbaat ki khidki se jhanka hi nhi,
ab me apni nakam mohabbat ka kya karu…
I just hope, she is at peace wherever she is….!!!!!!