Work is demanding , and is getting complex at a lightening speed. expectations and deliverable are running at Usain bolt speed, and i am huffing and puffing , trying to keep a pace with it all.
I have written a couple of times about how , your intentions to do good work is at various occasions, negated by the office politics. As a newcomer these things affected me, the behaviors often left me confused and low. But lately there is a difference that i have observed in my reactions towards such things.
Recently one of my senior colleagues was upset at the point of being furious with me , for having left her out of some task, of which both of us were a part of ,along with lot of other members.
It made the office atmosphere uncomfortable and awkward and she stopped interacting with me and i also had some colleagues tell me, that she was spreading unnecessary rumors about me.My initial reaction was that was frustration and anger, for obvious reasons like; i had absolutely no say in her being part of the task or not, it was the decision of our team leader, there were other people who were working on the project along with me,who also as per her “did not involve her”, but she chose to blame it all on me, and most important thing, if she wanted to a part of it, she should have taken the initiative to come forward on her own and got involved.
But i guess with age and experience , you learn to look things from a different perspective. After some time , i realized that , the anger was causing me harm, and i was wasting my energy being involved into something i neither wanted nor should have been. And above all, my conscious knew i wasn’t at fault and that is all what matters, i did not feel the obligation to go and prove my point to anyone else. Whether her feelings are genuine or not , is not for me to judge ,i was simply doing my work and anything beyond that isn’t in my circle of influence.
She had never earlier or on any other occasion done any harm to me , nor her gossiping would actually harm me. Because the people who know and matter to me, would not be affected by the loose talks, and those who get affected, should not matter to me.
And so like the wise old man of the story books, i decided to put it all aside and continue to respond and behave just the way i usually would have. I don’t know if that made any difference to her, but for me , it was liberating. And as i write this today, i actually feel the entire episode was funny. But relieved that i could avoid useless spending of my energy and emotions. Wisdom strikes, they say 🙂